Losing Someone You Love

I’m sure most, if not all of us have felt the pain of losing someone we love dearly. It can happen at any point in a lifetime; Elementary school, high school, college and even as an adult. But that doesn’t matter one bit. In hurts just as much, no matter when tragedy decides to strike. I’ve lost two people I loved so very much in my 21 years on this earth. My grandpa and my aunt. I lost my grandpa to Lung Cancer roughly 8 years ago and recently lost my beautiful aunt to colon cancer, 6 months ago. I’ve often wondered why the good ones are taken so soon. My aunt was only 52 years young when she left us. I’ve felt a lot of anger and confusion since she passed and I couldn’t help but write on this topic today as I know most people will be able to relate. There’s a whole bunch of negatives I could think of and very few positives that revolve around losing someone you love. I thought it would be interesting if I talked about the main negative and the main positive I felt emotionally after losing someone I loved. 

 My Papoo, the sweetest man that ever lived 

You start to question the basic notion that ''if you’re a good human being, good things will happen'' 

I’m sure you can understand this. All our life, we’re taught that being a good human being is very rewarding; physically, mentally and socially. You will be loved by many, you will develop tons of beautiful friendships throughout the years and life in general will be so much better. I call bullshit. I am not a pessimist but ever since my aunt passed away, I’ve stopped believing in most of the things that we are told as we grow up. Both my aunt and my grandpa we’re two of the most incredibly genuine, loving, funny and adorable human beings you could ever possibly meet in a lifetime . I ask myself questions like ‘’Why does god let these beautiful people go too soon?’’, ‘’ Why do some really bad people get to live a long healthy life while some of god's finest creations fall victim to atrocities like cancer?’’. I’m sure you’ve once thought about the same thing. I will never understand it. Never. I used to firmly believe that life was fair and that what you gave to the world would come right back to you; Good or bad. I now know that this isn’t true because all my aunt and my grandma ever did was spread love, positivity and happiness wherever they went. They should’ve lived longer. They should’ve had the chance to spread their positivity in so many more places. My aunt, the little ray of sunshine, deserved to live a long, happy life. As much as this may come off as built up anger, it’s really not the case. It’s more of a reality check as to how life really works and how heartbreakingly unfair it really is too. 

 My aunt, the woman with the kindest heart

They are still with you spiritually even though they aren’t with you physically anymore 

The impacts of losing someone you love doesn’t always have to be negative; It can also change you and your mindset in a positive way. Let me clarify. I'll be honest and say that the negatives obviously outweigh the positives when it comes to losing someone. That’s clear. But I’ve felt and I’ve lived some beautiful experiences after my loved one’s passings that showed me that there’s a lot more to life than we think. You hear people say all the time that your loved ones are still with you after they pass away but until you live it and see it for yourself, you don’t really believe it which is totally normal.  The most recent experience that showed me that my aunt is still looking over me in my every day life was at my boyfriend’s hockey game about 2 weeks ago; it was the hockey fights cancer night at the rink and the guys on the team had to pick someone they we’re fighting for/skating for that was affected by cancer and/or lost their hard fought battle to this terrible disease. My boyfriend picked my aunt. Long story short, he hadn’t scored in 6-7 games and he was getting extremely frustrated. That night, me and my whole family had a powerful feeling that my aunt was going to give Dante all of the strength and energy he needed in order to have one of the best games of his professional hockey career. As predicted, my man scored not 1, not 2 but 3 goals that night; The first pro hat trick of his career. Safe to say I had the biggest goosebumps on my arms as the goals piled on but I also had eyes full of tears because I knew my aunt was with us and it was her way of letting me know. And that is the prime example that even after someone you love passes away, they will forever stay with you and support you in any way you need them to. There’s obviously no good time to lose a human being that is close to your heart but just keep in mind and keep in your heart that it doesn't mean it's the end just because you lost them physically- You will always and forever have them by your side spiritually.